Archive for January, 2007

House Warming Party

Posted in pedro on January 4, 2007 by cromag

Some friends in college got screwed over by their landlord. They were told they had to vacate their house in like May and most were going out of town and had already signed a lease for the fall. So they were evicted with little notice because the owner wanted to sell the place, they were pissed, they decided to take revenge.

The night they moved their stuff out, they turned over the keys but left a window open. At midnight a bunch of people showed up with five 30 packs of highlife and a thirst for destruction. We started out just having a wicked party. A couple of homeless guys wandered by and we called them over and gave them beer. One tried to sleep but the other joined us, laughing in confusion as we went around writing on the walls with magic markers and poking holes in the drywall. I think he almost bolted when we threw the fridge out the window.

It went downhill from there…soon I was watching sweet well-behaved straight-A college girls standing on chairs in the upstairs bedroom screaming like banshees as they tore long strips of brass piping out of the ceiling and bent it into pretzels…Andrew WK’s first album was blaring from a tinny boombox on repeat as supposedly civilized young scholars swung hammers rhythmically into the walls to spell out I HART COCK or smashed windows by taking doors off the hinges and trying to fit them through the frames lengthwise.

When we set off fireworks in the kitchen, the cops showed up. Some of the wussier chicks and the homeless guys ran, but one rich kid who was famous for being so ironic and blasé that he was basically a vampire went out front, showed them his license with that current address and promised to be quieter, all while covered in beer and woodchips. Of course as soon as they were around the corner we started hitting grapefruit with baseball bats through the screen on the back porch. The party went on for a few hours more, until the place was almost gutted and tagged and smashed. We listened to Hatebreeders over and over and over and shotgunned beers until we couldn’t stand.

The homeless guys came back and we told them to spend a few days there and then cleared off, hoping that the destruction would be blamed on them (sorry guys!). Nobody bought that, though. My friends were being investigated and threatened with litigation up until graduation, but somehow the landlord never checked to see if the cops were called that night, and no-one was prosecuted.

Music doesn’t bring violence out of people, but it doesn’t just express the natural bestial nature of man either. If we had no stereo, or only Silver Jews records, or something, we wouldn’t have gone insane like that…of course the same goes for pot vs beer. Music, art, whatever… it’s a drug– take it at your own risk, and don’t underestimate the shit it can do to your brain and soul.


PS No homeless guys were harmed in the making of this post.

PPS: Many homeless guys will be harmed in the process of making this place work.


El Scorcho

Posted in pedro on January 4, 2007 by elpedro

I want to think about Weezer as if they all died in a fiery car wreck in 1999. Let’s start with Pinkerton, partially because it’s so accessible, but also because it was so universally panned at the time that it drove Rivers Cuomo out of music for years. It was a colossal failure. Rolling Stone rated it the 2nd worst album of the year (god only know what got first place…hopefully not Harmacy! [haha like Rolling Stone reviewed Harmacy…]) But wait…this wasn’t a dumbass Techno-freebasing critic who gave them that rating…that was from a Reader’s Poll!Why did this record turn fans off the first time they heard it?

This phenomenon isn’t limited to its time of release, either. This from an amazon review: “So I finally went to the store and bought this album because I always had heard that it’s their best album from all the people on the .com boards. So, I pop in the CD and listen to the first few tracks, and thought to myself, this was a waste of money. So I didn’t listen to it again until the next day and after listening to the entire album a couple of times, it dawned on me: This album is quite possibly the greatest album I have ever heard.”

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